Another exciting rendition of the bad assed man's super blog! Today I feel the need to introduce The Evil. It's 6:00am, I only got 6 hours to go before I finish up my 16 hour security gig. Well, it's actually a 17 hour gig. Stupid set the clocks back thing has me working an extra hour. Now I'm not supposed to get paid for it, haha not "supposed" to. But I'll get my time, don't you worry, I'll get it.
Anyhoo, I am supposed to see my daughter today, "supposed" to. It's gonna be awesome but it's also gonna suck. I have already been awake for 16 hours. By the time I get off, it will be 22 hours. I usually get my daughter about 2:00pm, and have her until around 8:00pm. So all in all, it's gonna be tough to stay awake. But it's my kid, so what can I say?
"Supposed", uh, yeah. Well so here's the deal. Common criminal / evil demon woman. She's everything that nighmares, Freddy Krugers, boogie men, and creepers alike are made from. This nasty bitch has no life. She refuses to work, never leaves the house unless she's outta smokes or weed, and has fondled more balls than Derek Jeter has. Yes, she's a ho.
Well the number one, and probably only, goal in her life is to fuck with me. I have no clue why, it's just her thing to do. She tells me two weeks ago I can see my kid, and asks if I wanna take her trick or treating. Of coarse I say yes. She is 6, I haven't taken her since she was 2! So I went ahead and made some good plans to accomplish this task. Then the wonderful world of Sandy comes a blowin her ass off and crashing into the Jersey shore. In turn, hundreds of miles away, my town gets a pile of bad wind, rain, and ultimately snow. The result of this tragedy was a cancellation of Halloween. Ok, no real big, they rescheduled it for the following Saturday, which by the way, was yesterday. So I dail up the number to hell and Evil answers the phone and tells me I'm a piece of shit, among other colorful names. I'm not even sure why she's saying this, much less, I have no clue what she's even saying. I just can't follow her shrills and keep attention. When she finally pauses to take a breath of air, and I'm not even certain she actually breaths air the way us humans do, I take the opportunity to ask about taking my kid out to scavenge some candy. "RAAAAAAAAA!!!", is all I hear as the Abominable Snow Bitch lets out it's roar, mating call, orgasmic groan... I have no clue, a scary assed sound to say the least. "Did I just have phone sex???"
Throughout the creepy muterings of the Lock Ness Bitch Monster, I am able to grasp that her answer is "no", I can not take my kid to get candy. I really don't know what all that other jabber was. "No", is such a small little word, it doesn't take 5 minutes of screaming like you got your leg cut off to say it. Misteries of the universe I suppose. "Bitch!"
I come to find later on in the evening that she never really even took my kid out. She mearly took her down the street to where her idiot bitch cult members were hanging out. There my kid was able to nail like 4 houses before she had to call it a night and just kick it while Bitchy The Pooh and her friends all take turns stabbing voodoo dolls of their ex's, or whatever they do for fun. To make matters worse, it turns out that the only reason Evil wanted me to take my kid this year, is because she "needed" to have a kid free evening.
See, The Evil is sex hungry monster, even though no guy has ever got her to that magical place. Turned out that she had finally found a willing victum to bang her, and she needed to ditch the kid for the evening. Well as the good light has shined on me for a change, Evil got fat over the past year. haha So her evil ways aren't as lucky at "getting lucky" anymore. Nevertheless, she found some poor sucker to do the dirty deed, and needed the night off. Well now her's the catch. Super stormy weather came and ruined the day for her. Wouldn't you know that her piece of meat is of her usual brand of bum who is 26 and doesn't have his liceness yet. So Mr. Winner was too scared to walk down the street to get booty cause of the big bad storm.
I'm guessing that somewhere in all the screaming I heard, she somehow told me a version of this story, and was upset because I couldn't read her mind and offer to take my kid anyways that night. Hell, she was probably upset that I didn't offer to go pick up her piece of meat too. She's really that wack.
I don't understand why people choose to tell me these things about her. I really could care less, unless it's about my kid directly. I do however wonder how these people are able to understand and interpret what she's grouling out. I can't. Sad part is that I'm not even sure we ever broke up. I mean she hasn't lived with me for 4 and a half years, but I don't ever recall hearing her say it. All I ever heard was the screams, and one pleasantly rainy day, they just stopped.
To wrap this up, I may not see my kid today. Evil changes her... Or rather,"it's", mind more often than I care to follow. Thank goodness she can't spell twitter. I'm just gonna have to play it by ear and see where the day takes me. I'd love to head home and take a quick snoozer, but who really knows what's gonna be what. All I can do is hope for the best, and the least amount of Evil time i can get away with.
Anyhoo, I am supposed to see my daughter today, "supposed" to. It's gonna be awesome but it's also gonna suck. I have already been awake for 16 hours. By the time I get off, it will be 22 hours. I usually get my daughter about 2:00pm, and have her until around 8:00pm. So all in all, it's gonna be tough to stay awake. But it's my kid, so what can I say?
"Supposed", uh, yeah. Well so here's the deal. Common criminal / evil demon woman. She's everything that nighmares, Freddy Krugers, boogie men, and creepers alike are made from. This nasty bitch has no life. She refuses to work, never leaves the house unless she's outta smokes or weed, and has fondled more balls than Derek Jeter has. Yes, she's a ho.
Well the number one, and probably only, goal in her life is to fuck with me. I have no clue why, it's just her thing to do. She tells me two weeks ago I can see my kid, and asks if I wanna take her trick or treating. Of coarse I say yes. She is 6, I haven't taken her since she was 2! So I went ahead and made some good plans to accomplish this task. Then the wonderful world of Sandy comes a blowin her ass off and crashing into the Jersey shore. In turn, hundreds of miles away, my town gets a pile of bad wind, rain, and ultimately snow. The result of this tragedy was a cancellation of Halloween. Ok, no real big, they rescheduled it for the following Saturday, which by the way, was yesterday. So I dail up the number to hell and Evil answers the phone and tells me I'm a piece of shit, among other colorful names. I'm not even sure why she's saying this, much less, I have no clue what she's even saying. I just can't follow her shrills and keep attention. When she finally pauses to take a breath of air, and I'm not even certain she actually breaths air the way us humans do, I take the opportunity to ask about taking my kid out to scavenge some candy. "RAAAAAAAAA!!!", is all I hear as the Abominable Snow Bitch lets out it's roar, mating call, orgasmic groan... I have no clue, a scary assed sound to say the least. "Did I just have phone sex???"
Throughout the creepy muterings of the Lock Ness Bitch Monster, I am able to grasp that her answer is "no", I can not take my kid to get candy. I really don't know what all that other jabber was. "No", is such a small little word, it doesn't take 5 minutes of screaming like you got your leg cut off to say it. Misteries of the universe I suppose. "Bitch!"
I come to find later on in the evening that she never really even took my kid out. She mearly took her down the street to where her idiot bitch cult members were hanging out. There my kid was able to nail like 4 houses before she had to call it a night and just kick it while Bitchy The Pooh and her friends all take turns stabbing voodoo dolls of their ex's, or whatever they do for fun. To make matters worse, it turns out that the only reason Evil wanted me to take my kid this year, is because she "needed" to have a kid free evening.
See, The Evil is sex hungry monster, even though no guy has ever got her to that magical place. Turned out that she had finally found a willing victum to bang her, and she needed to ditch the kid for the evening. Well as the good light has shined on me for a change, Evil got fat over the past year. haha So her evil ways aren't as lucky at "getting lucky" anymore. Nevertheless, she found some poor sucker to do the dirty deed, and needed the night off. Well now her's the catch. Super stormy weather came and ruined the day for her. Wouldn't you know that her piece of meat is of her usual brand of bum who is 26 and doesn't have his liceness yet. So Mr. Winner was too scared to walk down the street to get booty cause of the big bad storm.
I'm guessing that somewhere in all the screaming I heard, she somehow told me a version of this story, and was upset because I couldn't read her mind and offer to take my kid anyways that night. Hell, she was probably upset that I didn't offer to go pick up her piece of meat too. She's really that wack.
I don't understand why people choose to tell me these things about her. I really could care less, unless it's about my kid directly. I do however wonder how these people are able to understand and interpret what she's grouling out. I can't. Sad part is that I'm not even sure we ever broke up. I mean she hasn't lived with me for 4 and a half years, but I don't ever recall hearing her say it. All I ever heard was the screams, and one pleasantly rainy day, they just stopped.
To wrap this up, I may not see my kid today. Evil changes her... Or rather,"it's", mind more often than I care to follow. Thank goodness she can't spell twitter. I'm just gonna have to play it by ear and see where the day takes me. I'd love to head home and take a quick snoozer, but who really knows what's gonna be what. All I can do is hope for the best, and the least amount of Evil time i can get away with.